Day 32

Update by Grandma. Writing in this journal has become a small part of my own therapy in dealing with everything that is happening with William. I arrived in Sacramento exactly four weeks ago and was in complete shock. Lois and I both tackled this like a project ( it is okay to smile when reading that). 1)I was determined to know everything about this cancer and making sure that William gets the best treatment available in the USA - and I am confident that William is getting the best protocol. 2) Next thing was to get all friends and family to pray for William and I was amazed at the love, prayers and support overflowing from all around globe. 3)We have a routine - that is sometimes put on hold based on William's level of pain or discomfort - we do homeschooling, go for walks, do physical therapy, eat (not a lot), take medication and mouth rinses, pray, play games and watch TV. 4)Lois and I take turns in caring for William and take some time off from the hospital every second day. If we look at the other aspects of the project... then we are truly in trouble - budget, scope, time..... We are not in control. This is not a project. This is life happening to us and I have nothing but God's grace to hang on to. Trying to make sense out of this is a humbling exercise. One thing I am sure of is that William will be completely healed. The road we have to travel to get there is taken one day and one step at a time. In the process we are learning things about ourselves. The good the bad and the ugly from my inner self stares me in the face when William is crying non stop, when woken 11 times at night, when Will is having diarrhea and the tubes and linen have to be changed at 2 in the morning, when my energy level is low and I have to act fast and think smart, when I need a hug but my husband is on the other side of the USA. I sometimes talk to God in angry tones and sometimes I just cry for God to ease William's misery. No we are definitelyy not in control here - but we always have God to rely on. He is in control. Thank you again for all your support. Keep praying and writing. God bless y'all.