I want an Easy Button...

Remember the Staples adds with the "that was easy" slogan and the red Easy button? Today I wish I had one of those buttons. Most of the time our struggles and emotions are manageable, but today I don't have the strength to manage them, nor do I believe I would want to! I want an Easy Button. I want a little button that can be pushed so that my lil boy can once again be healthy and my heart didn't feel so heavy with a stew of emotions.

It's been more than two weeks since our last update and as you can imagine there is a lot to fill you in on. As you may recall from the last entry, William and I were to return home for two weeks and then return to LA this week to start the BMT. Staying true to it's MO, the cancer had different plans for us and quickly interfered with what ever expectations we had.

William and I were able to spend three fabulous days at home with Randell when out of no where William got a fever of 104.5. After an ice-cold bath, Tylenol and what felt like several hours of excruciating horror (watching your child being so sick is an experience that no parent should ever experience) William's fever dropped to a manageable degree and I was able to temporarily medicate the symptoms while we traveled back to LA. The road trip back to LA was an absolute nightmare filled with chills, vomiting, and diarrhea. Let's just say that I am thankful for the roll of paper towels and wet wipes that are permanently located my car.

Once we arrived back in LA, William got admitted and hooked up to all sorts of fluids,antibiotics, and supplemental nourishment.Turns out that my poor guy had food poisoning and to make things worse, the C-Diff had still not gone away....William and I spent a week in the hospital before finally being discharged and going home to our new medical residence at the Ronald McDonald House of Pasadena. Obviously the BMT (bone marrow transplant) got postponed. Our new roadmap and timeline for transplant was penciled in for September.

After spending a much needed quiet weekend at the Ronald McDonald House, William and I returned to the hospital yesterday for what was anticipated to be an "easy" chemo (something to keep the cancer at bay while we wait for transplant) what I was not anticipating was a nightmare conversation regarding whether or not William was still a candidate for transplant. After having a severe emotional breakdown in my car (in traffic on the 210) I was able to wrap my mind around everything that had been discussed. In two weeks William will go through a series of scans, tests, biopsies, and reviews, the process is known as disease assessment. William's assessment will be done to determine if #1- his tired and frail body will be able to survive the BMT and the extremely toxic chemo that accompanies it. #2- does he meet the criteria of minimal disease being present.

So here we are, back at City of Hope while William receives chemo. William is already is experiencing the horrid side effects of nausea and migraines ....sigh....................... What a horrible reality it is to know that for my child to survive this cancer, his body has to be poisoned to the point of unmentionable torment.

This is William's journey and we will Keep on Keepin on' and Live Strong with God in our hearts and courage in our soul!